Break Free From the “Busy” Mindset!
How many times a day do you catch yourself saying, “I’m busy”? If it’s more than once or twice, this is for you.
When working with a new manager recently, I shared one of my favorite pieces of advice for leaders, mentors, and parents alike: Stop saying, ‘I’m busy.’
Why? Because we often confuse “busy” with “productive,” and they are not the same. In today’s world of overstimulation and social media comparisons, being busy has become a badge of honor. We list our packed schedules to anyone who will listen: “I ran three miles before work, had back-to-back meetings, and then tackled student-teacher conferences. Whew, what a day!”
Sound familiar? Posts like this can make you feel guilty for taking time to binge your favorite Netflix show. Somehow, we’ve turned “busy” into an accomplishment. Free time, on the other hand, is subconsciously seen as failure. Let’s rethink that mindset.
The "Busy" Trap
Sometimes, we use “I’m busy” as a justification. It explains why we’re tired, unorganized, or struggling to prioritize. It also subtly signals to others that we don’t have time for them. But does a longer to-do list really make us more important?
Our addiction to busyness has real consequences. Stress and burnout cost the U.S. over $300 billion annually. More than half of Americans didn’t take a vacation last year. Add in the rising rates of anxiety, depression, and hypertension, and it’s clear: this culture of busy is taking a toll.
My "Aha" Moment
I’ve been there. I used to sit in traffic during my long commute, fuming at the delay. “I have so much to do!” I’d think, tension building with every red light. By the time I arrived, I was stressed, anxious, and already behind. Then one day, I made a change. Instead of fighting the commute, I decided to treat it as “me time.” I discovered podcasts, cranked up my favorite music, and sometimes just embraced the silence.
And that’s when it hit me: silence is where true self-awareness begins. I realized that I’m not just in control of my schedule—I’m in control of my thoughts, even when life feels overwhelming.
Rest Is NOT Laziness
The line between rest and laziness has become blurry in our culture. But rest is essential. It’s not a luxury; it’s a necessity. As Brené Brown says, “We are a culture of people who have bought into the lie that if we just stay busy enough, the truth of our lives won’t catch up to us.”
In my own life, I’ve used busyness to avoid pain—whether it was navigating divorce, empty-nest syndrome, or illness. Staying busy felt like a solution, but true healing came in the quiet moments when I allowed myself to reflect and process.
A Better Answer to "How Are You?"
So, the next time someone asks, “How are you?” or “How was your day?” resist the urge to say, “Busy.” Instead, try something more meaningful. Say, “I got a lot accomplished today, and I feel great about it.” Or simply, “I took some time to recharge, and it was exactly what I needed.”
Your Permission to Rest
Don’t fear the silence. Embrace it. Rest doesn’t make you less productive—it makes you more effective. Give yourself permission to step back, reflect, and prioritize rest over the constant hustle. Your mind, body, and spirit will thank you.
